Seeing the want in the need

Posted on | February 15, 2009 | 13 Comments

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I had to take my mother in-law to get her eyes examined and order new glasses the other day. The closest place her insurance covered was the Wal-Mart vision center. I opted for closest because my schedule is so wonky and needed to get back home as fast as possible. That could be faulty thinking. I could have taken her to a local small business, even if she did save a couple hundred on the glasses (hardware is not covered by her insurance — just exams). Not that it’s my decision to make, but that’s a whole other story, and one I should probably start writing.

While we sat in the waiting area she commented on the vastness of the building in front of us and the fact that she knew she needed a few things, but doubted with her aching hip she’d be able to manage the walking that would be necessary to get from one area to another.

She began filling out the forms and I stared out into the void. I’ve always hated setting foot inside a Wal-Mart. It seems to me as if this is where the walking dead convene. I joked all day that dudes, Zombies! They’re real!

No matter where in the country, you step into a Wal-Mart and see the same toxic, stumbling mass of humanity pushing their carts up and down the towering aisles of cheap plastic crap from China. But the other day I watched the check out lines and saw that there were a whole lot less of them, and that mostly people were coming out with things like toilet paper, laundry detergent, bottled water, and other such items that theoretically fall into the *need* category.

I did a mental check of what shopping I needed to do in the near future and couldn’t think of a single thing to buy there. I’d much rather pay a little more to my local grocery store even while we’re cash-light right now. We’re in somewhat dire need of storage solutions (a couple of bookcases and an attractive file cabinet to keep in the living room would solve most of it). Wal-Mart probably carries just those things at a far more affordable price than the used vintage ones I was looking at and can’t quite manage at this time.

Now, I haven’t shopped at Wal-Mart for years, but in that time, I’ve spent a lot of money on unnecessary things at Target. If Wal-Mart has it, Target will have it too, and it’ll be just a little bit sexier and harder to resist. But I’m working on discouraging the impulse that I must have it now. I’m trying to teach myself to think of other solutions while we save for quality items and buy with cash instead of credit.

This is so much harder than I ever expected. Should we be spending just to try to do our part to *stimulate the economy*? I don’t think so. I have a sinking feeling that if we’re looking at how to hang onto business as usual in this world, we’re making a huge mistake and missing the point. I think we’re on the edge of a massive sea change, and as far as I can figure, the best response is to make sure my raft will float and handle the currents. I can at least learn to be honest with myself about the difference between want and need. Even if I do end up feeling like a petulant, spoiled child in the process. A nice side-serving of humility never hurt anyone, right? Maybe that’s the bit that will help me stay afloat.

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Category: 52 Stories, Education, Health & Wellness, Money

Comments

13 Responses to “Seeing the want in the need”

Liisa
February 15th, 2009 @ 12:17 pm

Kelly,
I have been practicing the want vs. need question for some time now. And, I agree, it is much harder than I had imagined. Although, it does somehow make me feel a little more secure when I can resist temptations. Knowing that my raft will stay afloat that much longer…
Great post!

[Reply]
Kathy
February 15th, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

I sure understand. We have lived through leaving credit for cash and it is down right hard. I still have a Target Visa that I like to have for emergencies, and they always happen every now and then. But the freedom that comes from sorting through the need vs want is beautiful and truly is just that…freeing. However, I still struggle with the cash and have been known to spend more than I should, sometimes often. I think its just a process we continue to forge through, each time doing just a little better than the time before, yet learning from the times we fall and spend every last dime we have.
Such a good post!

[Reply]
Kelly
February 15th, 2009 @ 3:29 pm

Hi Liisa, thanks so much for stopping by and sharing. I think that’s the key, that it takes practice. It’s good to hear others thinking along similar lines.

[Reply]
Kelly
February 15th, 2009 @ 3:31 pm

We have a Sears credit card that we’ve used for emergency appliance purchases. We’ll keep that open but are working to pay off the other 2 credit cards. I find I spend a whole lot less if I don’t carry much cash.

[Reply]
Cat B
February 15th, 2009 @ 5:41 pm

Think you’re so right. Live simply. Less stuff. More freedom and peace of mind. We’ll all get used to it, I hope!

[Reply]
debra
February 16th, 2009 @ 10:47 am

I so don’t do WalMart. Ever. I’ve gone in with my mother-in-law and feel…….hard to describe walking dead when I leave.
I agree that we need to rethink how we as a culture do things. Right. Now.

[Reply]
deb
February 23rd, 2009 @ 6:18 pm

I do not do WalMart (or CostCo).. but i’ve fallen into that “Target isn’t as bad.. and sexier” hole myself. Never thought -before reading your words – that the people I would see in WalMart did always look like the walking dead.

I think the change that is coming may be (I hope it becomes? Or do I?) a contraction of our shopping to smaller local stores again instead of the massive national/international giants we’ve come to know in the last 20 years or so.

[Reply]
Meagan Francis
March 1st, 2009 @ 3:22 pm

It’s such a hard balance. I do find myself instinctively avoiding aimlessly wandering the aisles at big-box stores. At the same time I find myself even more motivated to shop at local stores because right now, they really need the business, and I really value what they bring to my community. I do worry that if everybody stops buying from businesses that can’t afford to slash their prices like the big boxes can, that they will simply cease to exist. So I do want to “stimulate the economy”…but in a different way than I think it’s usually supposed to mean.

[Reply]
Unburied Treasures « Two Frog Home
March 4th, 2009 @ 3:18 am

[...] of humility never hurt anyone, right? Maybe that’s the bit that will help me stay afloat. – Her Able Hands [...]
Maureen
March 4th, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

I arrived here from Two Frog Home and I wanted to say that I just LOVE this post! We last visited WalMart about 5 years ago on a Sunday…upon exiting I told my husband that it just sucked the church right out of you…ick.

I shall return (to your blog, not to WalMart

[Reply]
bobbi
March 4th, 2009 @ 7:46 pm

um, Target is not exactly a world away from Walmart. just because you have more money to spend, you can tell yourself you’re doing a better thing than the “walking dead?”

hmmmm. have to disagree.

[Reply]
Kelly
March 5th, 2009 @ 6:53 am

Hi, bobbi,

thanks for commenting. I didn’t say that I’m telling myself I’m doing a “better thing” at all. I actually say that I’m doing the same thing, just in a far more pleasant atmosphere.

“Now, I haven’t shopped at Wal-Mart for years, but in that time, I’ve spent a lot of money on unnecessary things at Target. If Wal-Mart has it, Target will have it too, and it’ll be just a little bit sexier and harder to resist. But I’m working on discouraging the impulse that I must have it now. I’m trying to teach myself to think of other solutions while we save for quality items and buy with cash instead of credit.”

I was remiss in my post for not saying that the main reason I stopped shopping Walmart is because of their business practices, globally and locally. I’ve also had family members and friends who worked for them and been taken advantage of. My elderly ex-MIL was injured on the job and was disoriented from hitting her head, and a lawyer from the company followed her to the hospital and made her sign papers saying she wouldn’t sue — before family was even notified she’d been injured. But that was all extraneous to the point of my post which was simmply about me examining my spending habits and the fact that it was triggered by a trip to Walmart..

My experience of Walmart is as I describe, and my experience is my experience, but I realize that doesn’t make it so for everybody else.

Thanks again for commenting and giving me more to think about.

[Reply]
Unburied Treasures | Two Frog Home
August 5th, 2010 @ 2:51 pm

[...] of humility never hurt anyone, right? Maybe that’s the bit that will help me stay afloat. – Her Able Hands Posted under: Links Comment (RSS) | Trackback If you like this post then [...]

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