Winter solstice, bring back the light

Posted on | December 21, 2008 | 1 Comment

I always go into winter with a huge list of projects I intend to accomplish in the evenings, forgetting that the early dark puts me to bed and sleep between 8:30 and 9:00. As we inch towards spring, I wake up again, and then rush about trying to make a dent in that list at the same time the planting season is heating up.

One thing I have given back to myself is knitting, not nightly, but when I’m in the right frame of mindlessness. I bartered some of the website work with Maxcine, and asked her to knit me a pair of fingerless gloves.

fingerless glove by maxcine

They need washed, and how. I wear them all the time (except while cooking after she admonished me for it). She also sent along skeins of the same yarn, so I can make myself a matching scarf. My lighting is terrible in here, especially at night, so please excuse the golden tint. Pretend I took the photo by candle light in honor of the solstice. Maybe you can make out the lace and bobble pattern?

matching scarf

It’s been so good to have a knitting project to work on again. I love making something that actually takes shape and progresses with every session. Wouldn’t it be nice to see the same kind of progression with my novel? I’ve been working on it a little bit just about every day this month, but it feels like swimming in place while the water gets deeper and my feet no longer know how far it is to the bottom.

Can I tell you what I’m really looking forward to? Next weekend. Having the holiday behind me and the next two months of winter days and nights to work (for pay and pleasure). I’ve scaled the whole holiday thing way back, by about 70% by my estimation. And still, it’s a grind and a pressure and a battle with feelings of guilt and frustration. It still feels like a dance in the land of unreality.

The consumer aspect of this “celebration” hasn’t worked for me for a long time, but this year the shopping and the wrapping and the gifting…no matter how careful I’m being about it, I still feel as if I’m stuck in an old vaudeville reel.

So here’s to unwinding the old patterns, to gathering in the warmth, to the returning light. May your days and nights be some approximation of merry and bright.

Comments

One Response to “Winter solstice, bring back the light”

  1. Tonia
    December 23rd, 2008 @ 1:54 pm

    I feel the same way about the holidays. The dance in the land of unreality is one I know well even though I try to make most of the gifts I give. I sometimes get so caught up in it all that I feel nothing. Then I feel lame for not feeling what I SHOULD be feeling, i.e. warm and fuzzy or merry and bright. I am also looking forward to working on projects in the coming months. Hear, hear to the unwinding of old patterns, gathering in the warmth and to the returning light. Cheers! -tonia

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