I don’t know what to title this
Gale-force winds began to buffet (I first wrote bugger, then backed up and corrected it, but bugger? really?) the house sometime around 2am. The air leaking in through the edges of the windows smelled like spring, just like it did all day yesterday. My body felt so confused when I went out to pick up a few groceries at lunchtime and it was 67 degrees. The impulse was to run home and start turning over the soil—to sow some hearty greens seed.
It’ll be about 20 degrees cooler today, though, so I guess I can quit fantasizing about that and just get my seeds organized for winter sowing. Gracious, it’s windy out there right now. We should have moved our Christmas tree out and stuck it in the ground during this warm spell, but I’m looking at it right now with all of its lights and ornaments. Meant to do it last night, but once again the evening just slid down the rabbit hole to bedtime and I crashed at 9. We’ll try again tonight.
I think I’m extra tired the past few days because I’m changing my eating habits drastically. Hell, over the holidays I lived on cookies and coffee cake. And coffee and wine. I’d love to stuff my face with buttermilk pancakes right about now, but it’s eggs or yogurt and nuts for brekkie and a salad with chicken or tuna for lunch, and then lots of vegetables for dinner with maybe a small bit of pasta and a protein of some sort. Just one cup of joe to start the day, and then lots of water and tea. I haven’t had any soda for over a week and my guts thank me very much. So I guess I’m detoxing because I am perpetually tired. This is the point in the past year or so where I’ve hit the wall and said pass the Pepsi. But I’m going to power through this.
Before bed last night I did some stretching and a few yoga poses, which interestingly enough, settled down the hungry feeling I had even though I’d already eaten. It’ll take some time for my stomach size to catch up with the portion reduction. I’m just not going back for seconds and dammit, I’m hungry all the time. But the stretching calmed that right down and I slept very well until the wind hit the front wall of the bedroom like a giant fist.
I am going way outside of my eat local boundaries in order to clean myself up this winter, and doing so gratefully. Thank goodness I can easily buy broccoli and kale and salad greens. Last winter I didn’t touch cucumbers, but I have a half dozen in the fridge right now because they make a wonderful lunch with chopped celery and cottage cheese. I guess I should say thank you California. I won’t be heaping metric tons of bullshit guilt on myself for the food miles I’m ingesting right now. My health is more important than my social conscience and it’s mostly the vegetables that are grown far away. I will, however, be making some local, small farm meat purchases this weekend. I can’t quite stop thinking about the soulless-sourced meat the FDA is going to allow into the market. I also can’t wait to get some greens started in the raised beds, under the windows, at the beginning of next month. Next year I will have some sort of a greenhouse or at least a low tunnel.
"In summer we live out of doors, and have only impulses and feelings, which are all for action, and must wait commonly for the stillness and longer nights of autumn and winter before any thought will subside; we are sensible that behind the rustling leaves, and the stacks of grain, and the bare clusters of the grape, there is the field of a wholly new life, which no man has lived; that even this earth was made for more mysterious and nobler inhabitants than men and women. In the hues of October sunsets, we see the portals to other mansions than those which we occupy."
~Henry David Thoreau
January 9th, 2008 at 6:34 am
I am in the same place with trying to kick sugar and realizing that for a transition period at least, eating local is going to have to take second place. I’ll do what I can, but you know, raw carrots are an easy quick snack and when our market doesn’t have them anymore, I’m getting them at Whole Foods. There’s only so much one person can do at a time. Good for you.
January 9th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Glad you’re feeling better and can find the good in adjusting your eating right now. I’m in that post-holiday appetite shift, too… I want all the sweet stuff GONE and am back to craving greens and pickles. Don’t add the guilt to your produce purchases: I decided last month when I was feeling anemic that I had to have fresh broccoli and kale, no matter where it came from, and that has helped a lot.
The warm weather and the smell of the soil made me want to garden, too, but at least I now have my seed order sent in!
January 9th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Oh wow, that’s a lot of stuff to give up. Luckily I got so ill after my solstice party that I could no longer indulge in anything bad for me. And exercising makes me so tired. I walked for half an hour yesterday and my body ached and I had to nap. Sheesh! Good on you and good luck!
January 9th, 2008 at 8:32 am
It’s so hard, but as you know, it’s also so worth it.
Keep on keeping on! I know you can do it!
January 9th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Darcy, sugar has been my cross to bear for years. Last year I finally knocked my candy habit. I may have replaced the candy with pop tarts, but let’s not go there. Let’s focus on the good! so now I’m kicking the pop tarts. heh. Good luck with the sugar thing. I found I had to lay off of carbs including carrots to really get rid of the desire because they just turn into sugar bombs in the body anyway. mmmm…carbs.
January 9th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Jennifer, I’m having a little bit of my pickled turnips and dilly beans chopped up in salads and it’s just divine. The broccoli and kale is making a big difference I think. Or, I hope. I’m thinking I’ll start to feel an upswing in a few days here. Maybe want to get some exercise.
You put in your seed order! Oi. I have to go through my seeds first. I still have so much.
January 9th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Yeah, Eve, I just figured it’s time to let go of all the self-poisoning. Food, drink, inner talk…etc. Exercise makes me feel like I have the flu right now. Anything but gentle, slow stretching is just way too much. But I’m hoping by next week I’ll be up for walks and maybe riding my bike in the basement.
January 9th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Lisa, woman…I don’t know if I would have felt so good about diving in like this if we hadn’t had so many great chats about it all. Thank you for your continued encouragement. And for sharing your ways and means… I’m finding a lot of what you suggested is working really well.
January 9th, 2008 at 11:25 am
I think Darcy’s spot on: There’s only so much one person can do at a time.
Good for you, detoxing. I’m trying, too.
January 9th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Hey, I’m on the detox wagon, too. Salad w/a few nuts for lunch today, an egg for breakfast. Since I’m home alone tonight, I think it’ll be a few steamed veggies and a bit o’tuna.
January 10th, 2008 at 6:23 am
Thanks, Kris. Good luck to you with it, too. It’s feeling a little better this morning.
January 10th, 2008 at 6:24 am
Debra, we need a trip to Alladin’s for some salad and pickles!