Bad Moon Rising
This is what has messed with my equilibrium for the past week. I can’t remember when I last slept so poorly for so many days in a row, and the jangled lines of communication rival the worst Mercury Retrograde I’ve ever experienced. It’s interesting that the moon is timed perfectly for a whole lot of change here.
Tyler started high school yesterday, and Lila started her new school on Monday. We found renters for the house and have a bunch of work to do in a very short time frame. It’s the final week for the remaining people who got laid off 3 months ago at work, and once they’re all gone, it’s going to be a ghost town. We’re all trying to help Chris’ mom get a bunch of things sorted out and either sold, scrapped or thrown away. The garden needs some attention. My brain is getting that itchy feeling again that happens when I’m not writing enough. I’m not exercising. I’m eating too much and of not the best food. I’m gaining weight again. I want to learn how to sing, and I practice all the time, but when I sing with other people I go flat and off key so easily and break into a stinky sweat of embarrassment. I keep having bad dreams about people I don’t have a relationship with anymore, all of them men, including my father. All of them branch off from my father.
So yeah, general, normal, everyday stress hopped up on a little extra juice from The Crazy Moon.
C’mon September!
If I knew how to use my camera properly (maybe this winter I’ll read the damned manual I bought a year ago), the photo would be a whole lot better, but I kind of like how the moon matches the street lamp in its intensity and blurriness. It was about 85 degrees outside at 8:30 pm when I took this and the moon looks as hot as the air. As hot as my temper. As my blistered brain. My bad, bad attitude.
I’m feeling unfocused, in need of a week at home alone to get organized without my small efforts being undone by four people living at full-speed. Or maybe I need to make a big pot of chicken soup with carrots and kale from the garden. Or maybe work on my novel. And put some attention on the good things, of which there are a zillion. And maybe I just need to have a good cry. I haven’t had one of those in a long, long time.
Technorati Tags: mental health, full moon
"All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar."
~Helen Hayes
August 30th, 2007 at 6:39 am
mdf—I think the soup and a few days home alone with lovely cups of tea and a good book….just doing nothing! Sounds like there is so much going on that there’s been no chance to relax but hope things will ease up for you with kids back to school and the house rented. Meanwhile, sending big hugs!
August 30th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Isn’t it dreadful? I don’t know about a wit about Mercury but I do know the full moon in the summer, combined with heat and humidity, brings me to my lowest lows. The past few days have been just plain awful. I’ve been on a stringent weight loss diet this summer and haven’t had any problems sticking to it until the past week when I haven’t been able to stay out of the Perry’s Bittersweet Sinphony that’s been in freezer for two months! Damn. I would love to have a good cry if only I could focus long enough…
If misery loves company, my dear, at least we’ve got that much?
August 30th, 2007 at 7:37 am
aha! That explains it! I’ve been nuts lately and had no idea why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 30th, 2007 at 8:49 am
geez–it THAT why i had my first ice cream cone of the summer–a hue Honey Hut cone????? Even the dogs have been antsy. And today I take daughter #2 to get her wisdom teeth out.
Changes,whether positive or not can surely be stressful……
Hugs to you
xox
August 31st, 2007 at 8:20 am
I woke up with a migraine this morning. First one I’ve had in months if not a whole year. Damn moon…
August 31st, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Isn’t it always in retrograde? Hasn’t Mercury been in permanent retrograde for most of my life?
I’m feeling all of that as well. For me everything is hinging on school starting again for Max next week when I will finally have a few hours every day not punctuated by constant needs from him. Or guilt that I have let his brain rot on the computer.
I’m ready for September too.