Home is where I keep my underwear
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the only long-term home I’ve ever had is the one I grew up in. Since I left home at 19, I’ve lived in sixteen different houses or apartments, in eight cities or towns, in four states. This last move to the house we’re selling was supposed to be long-term, but I knew the minute I walked in that we’d be packing up again in the not-too-distant future.
No matter where I’ve lived, I’ve craved a place where I can settle in and grow old. Maybe this new house will be that place, maybe not. For some reason, staying put hasn’t worked out too well for me.
I worry about the way all of our moving has shaped Tyler’s life, and I wrote a little bit more about that at DotMoms.
Maybe Lila will get to grow up in the new house, and I’ll get to see what damage I can do by forcing the kid to stay in one place her whole childhood. God knows, I’ll question myself either way.
"In summer we live out of doors, and have only impulses and feelings, which are all for action, and must wait commonly for the stillness and longer nights of autumn and winter before any thought will subside; we are sensible that behind the rustling leaves, and the stacks of grain, and the bare clusters of the grape, there is the field of a wholly new life, which no man has lived; that even this earth was made for more mysterious and nobler inhabitants than men and women. In the hues of October sunsets, we see the portals to other mansions than those which we occupy."
~Henry David Thoreau
May 28th, 2006 at 10:25 am
I have much the same thoughts about Micaela who in 12 years has moved numerous times.
She also lived through our extremely lean years. I’m not entirely sure we won’t move again or if
I can be happy in one place indefinitely (since I was 10 the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere was 5 years and that was once!) moving is part of my identity I think.
Anyway with the major age difference between M and S I do think Sofia’s experience will be
different.
May 29th, 2006 at 7:20 pm
My parents moved me five times in my first five years, I always hated leaving every place we ever lived. I’ve since made up for it!
May 30th, 2006 at 9:16 am
Since moving into this house in February, I’ve made the bold statement that I’m never moving again. I moved twice during elementary school and it was traumatic for me both times. My oldest is in kinder this year and I was emphatic that we would not be looking for a house outside his school boundary.
So we found a new house two blocks from the old one and I’m planning to stay. Maybe we can compare notes on the evils of making our kids stay in one place for their entire childhood.
May 30th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Sarah and I have moved 5 times in her 4.5 years. It’s been almost 6 months here at our new “permanent” house and she’s just now stopped talking about the last house. Every now and then she’ll mention one of our old roommates, but not as frequently as she used to.
She now says she is going to buy the house next door and live here next to us forever. Alternately, she says we will all live here forever. She doesn’t realize that the lack of ground dooms me to a future move. I will definately need to move somewhere with more ground to garden.
June 1st, 2006 at 9:08 am
Jeanne, I hope your new home brings you much happiness.
Emily, I’m glad you’re still where you’re at, I’m looking forward to hanging with you.
Dallas, I wish you luck in the stay-put. Part of me wants to move again, but back east so I can be with my family. That’s not likely, but a girl can dream. In the meantime, I intend to dig deep in this place, and call it home.
Heather, It’s so good to hear there are other nomads out there with young children. But I hear you on the ground. We’re only moving to town because we were lucky that this particular property came up for sale, with almost an acre. Permaculture here I come!
June 1st, 2006 at 8:06 pm
Omigosh, I’m on the other side of the bell curve!
Here I am a grandma and have lived in just three houses my entire life.
Family of origin for 25 years; raising a family for 30 years;
and now my very first apartment. Setting down roots is good
but finding your wings is better. You all have been flying
about first so I hope you find some very special space to
claim as your own now for a longer period of time.
I hope the spacing comes out okay on this post - I can’t see
the right-side margin.
June 1st, 2006 at 10:59 pm
I kept thinking about the whole moving vs. staying thing, and I realized my dear cousin moved way more than I did- he kept moving every few years til age 18. But he didn’t respond by getting married at age 22, buying a house and having the address engraved on the wedding rings. He continues to have major wanderlust. I always am trying to keep track of what state or country he is in at the moment. I love that about him. And he likes us for keeping the home fires burning. I don’t think either path is exactly a response to our upbringing.. I think we were born who we are. So don’t worry about screwing up your kids one way or another. You love them so they will always feel like they are at home.
June 2nd, 2006 at 9:25 am
Hi Mater! thank so much for stopping by! Chris (my mate) always frames his arguments using a bell curve analogy. I know you weren’t making an anology. I’m just saying. He’d like you right off…
You sure have grown some roots, but you’re right. Wings matter too.
Emily, that’s great perspective, thank you so much for sharing it. Interesting thought about it not being a response to your upbringing. I don’t think my nomadic tendancies have anything to do with my upbringing either. So I guess I should just stop worrying so much and trust my boy to follow is own path, wherever it takes him.
June 2nd, 2006 at 6:35 pm
Love will always find its way home :>) Thanks for the welcome.
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