Bang, bang, bang
I’m a cranky, reactive, mess of a mother the past few days. I keep thinking in a very loud, screeching voice, that I just want a day off from my children. That raising a teenager and a toddler at the same time is the same as having two full-time jobs. One as an event planner, and one as a gopher. My brain feels like it’s going to explode with the pressure of having to say everything to the teenager twenty times before it sinks in, and then he does what he’s asked as half-assed as he can get away with. He won’t get out of bed until noon, and stays up all night. The toddler talks incessently, and climbs me like a mountain if I sit down to try to write, or heaven forbid, think an uninterrupted thought. Right at this moment, the one thing I want but cannot have is an afternoon alone.
To sit and bang my forehead into the wall to see how fast the house falls down.
Technorati Tags: cranky, mother, teenager, toddler, event planner, gopher
"In summer we live out of doors, and have only impulses and feelings, which are all for action, and must wait commonly for the stillness and longer nights of autumn and winter before any thought will subside; we are sensible that behind the rustling leaves, and the stacks of grain, and the bare clusters of the grape, there is the field of a wholly new life, which no man has lived; that even this earth was made for more mysterious and nobler inhabitants than men and women. In the hues of October sunsets, we see the portals to other mansions than those which we occupy."
~Henry David Thoreau
May 18th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Doll, if you lived closer to me, I’d help you get a day off from the kids. I need one two.
My 20 month old drives me batty sometimes!
May 18th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
I meant, I need one, too as in also. See? I can’t spell when I’m frazzled!
May 18th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
gads. I’m having days lately like that. The girl will not shut up and I just need silence but all I hear is my shrewish voice.
May 18th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
mommy commune mommy commune mommy commune
for what it’s worth–i’m pretty damn reactive too. it’s such a treat, eh?
May 18th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Sending cyber brownies to help. I will end up making some for real here after my day. I can’t even get up the energy to blog about it. Eating cereal in bed watching cartoons with 4 year old at 8:30 pm. I think, in my previous life as a mom with some semblance of control, 8:30 was bedtime.
May 19th, 2006 at 6:18 am
Agh, don’t you wish there were just a puase button on your kids. That would be LOVELY.
May 19th, 2006 at 7:56 am
Wow, ladies. Your frustration gives me food for thought. I have very mixed feelings about the whole should have a kid question, but I guess I have to decide at some point. I am sure there are good days, too…?
May 19th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
emily–in the midst of the bad days there are bright shining moments of “ahhhh” and there is something to the long term of creating family that gives it some meaning and worth–for me… YMMV…
May 19th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
Thanks, good to hear. I admire you mothers!
May 19th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
I’ve spent a rainy day here at work catching up…I should call. I don’t know if it’s spring or just the rain but the insomnia, the crankiness-it’s all happening here too. I’d love to give you a hug…maybe it would help both of us. I miss you.
May 19th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Emily, There are awesome things too. Today she was awesome, wore a frou frou dress with boots and three hair bows to our co-op preschool, stayed late to help with all school clean up, nary a whimper. The day yesterday wasn’t so much difficult because of the child, just difficult with her. My dad has cancer and is still trying to work catering. He has a big BBQ this weekend and we went to help him shop and prep. If she were 12, she’d have been a super help, at 4, she’s just more work. Hard day, physically, emotionally and maternally. While today was a lot of work, but super easy and fun wither her. KWIM?
May 19th, 2006 at 7:19 pm
Hee, Emily! Can you feel how we’re all trying to pull you into the camp?!
Come hang out with us in the new house, though…I’m sure my friend Kate with chime in with what fabulous birth control my kids are!
It’s definitely a beautiful thing, but it’s not always easy. Some days I really get in my own way. But that happened often enough when I didn’t have kids too.
May 20th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Ha Ha! I’d love to hang out at your new place, not just as birth control! I think we all needed to see the sun.. the vitamin D is doing wonders for my mood and motivation. Ten days of rain and everyone I know was verging on depressed. I am going back out to finish mowing our jungle, er ah, I mean lawn. Happy spring to all.
May 20th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
Kelly, I’m entering the third week of a teenaged guest who is even more teenage-y than my own. Between the two of them I’m going crazy with the lack of help and total cluelessness. I ranted about it just the other day, as a matter of fact…
May 30th, 2006 at 10:00 am
It’s not lost on me that you wrote this just after Mother’s Day. I feel like this kind of a lot, but esp after that freaking holiday. You are totally not alone, I hear you, girl, and just keep getting trough the day. I didn’t say “days”. Day. One. At. A. Time. Mommy communes have beenon my list for the Revolution for years. Why has this not yet come about?
December 23rd, 2006 at 3:34 pm
great blog…
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