Perspective hurts, but eventually it helps

Posted on | March 29, 2006 | 5 Comments

Considering I feel like I got hit with a stick about the head, neck, and shoulders, I got a lot done today. I seem to have contracted whatever nasty plague Lila had, and spent the last two days, well…you don’t need to know the details. You can only well imagine, I’m sure. To round out the Pity Potty Party, I also picked up a bronchial something or other—probably at the ER—that’s sitting in a ball of fire in my chest, and making me cough until my little floating ribs feel like they’re going to snap.

Yesterday while reading the newspaper, I turned past the obituaries, and noticed a photo at the top of a little girl who looked so familiar, that I stopped to read. I never do that, and my heart galloped in my chest because I knew her face. It was the same girl who was sitting right across from us in the waiting room at the ER when we brought Lila in to make sure she didn’t have Meningitis because she couldn’t move her neck. This four year-old girl died on Sunday, of Meningitis. I keep seeing her in her father’s arms, so clearly unconscious, and so, so sick. I can’t stop thinking about them. Every action I took today I found her pale face floating in my mind, and there was nothing I could do to make it stop, so I just tried to pay attention, and to not let myself get lost in the cloud of fear and sadness.

I planted one of the cold frames with Spinach, Mesclun, Arugula, Merlot Lettuce, and Dandelion. As I sprinkled the seeds on top of the soil, I wished for healing to grow in her family’s hearts quickly. I have no idea how that will happen.

I finished planting the tomato and eggplant starts in the basement, and Lila helped me poke tiny holes in the soil with her finger. I collected all of the debris out of the garden to get it ready for tilling, and hoped that her parents have the love and support of friends and family at every moment that they need it.

I watched my children kicking a ball around the back yard, then Lila made her first ice cream sundae of the season—out of sand.

Chris came home and he and Tyler put the finishing touches on the first chicken tractor, so the birds can be moved outside tomorrow.

A thousand times I thanked God that we get be together for another day.

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